This has been a very interesting week. A week where I would have liked the convenience of an online diary to pour my out my heart or share my joy, whatever. But this damned whatever it is that has the computer hosed is making it too difficult to do much of anything.

The weekend was fine. As I said, I was feeling a little blue, but otherwise a nice weekend. Cold, though. Very, very cold. And Monday seemed okay - if I remember correctly - pretty productive, actually. Then there was Tuesday.

I was feeling good in the morning. I was having a good hair day. I liked the outfit I was wearing. It was a wee bit nicer day than the one before. All good. Except that not fifteen minutes after I'd gotten to work, RT and I got into the most god-awful display of an argument. Truly, you'd have thought you were in kindergarten, the way we were talking to each other. We each think the other started it (of course) but to be very fair, once she did start screaming at me I friggin' snapped. Nothing about it was professional and as soon as it was over (she actually got sent home after screaming and door slamming with the boss) I realized that my lack of control in the face of what I perceived as an attack had pretty much cost me my reputation. (The boss confirmed this yesterday by saying from her point of involvement, we were both equally at fault.)

The worst part of all of this is that when she called me a racist (behind closed doors but in front of the boss), instead of asking how she could think that of me, I just threw it back at her. Stupid. And, of course, I was crying. Because I always cry when I'm really pissed off. I was pissed off because just the day before, I'd mentioned to the boss how well RT and I were getting along and how hard I could see that she was trying. I was pissed because I couldn't hold back and take the high road (although, I really was at the front of the conversation). I was pissed because somewhere down the line I missed the gene that's used when we learn to take crap from people and just let it go so we can all get along and do the damned job.

People are always telling me, "You just have to get used to it because there's someone like that at every job." And they're right. There is. And that person finds me and get's under my skin until I just have to claw my way out of it. I'm not the only one these people bother, but I'm the only one going toe to toe with them in the middle of the office. Every single time. I don't even know where it comes from.

So, that was Tuesday. Then there was Wednesday. The company's plan was to have us just ignore each other every day since the boss considers both of us her best workers and can't afford to lose either of us. (And she's not kidding here. Between the two of us we probably do about 50% of the work in a six person department. It's kind of ridiculous.) So Wednesday was spent avoiding each other to the point that RT changed print queues so we wouldn't run into each other. It was horrible and depressing and it sucked. I couldn't imagine going to work everyday in that type of environment.

Yesterday was one of our co-worker's 30th birthday, so they wanted to surprise her and took up a collection. RT actually approached me and was polite and kind. We spoke tentatively the rest of the day, being very, very sensitive to each other. I could see things getting better. And we all had one-on-one's with the boss, too. That helped, because I got a chance to own up to the fact that I know I acted like an ass, but also got to hear from the boss how well I was doing. Topped off with compliments from two customers, it was quite a day.

Today, it was almost like it had never happened. Almost. Hopefully, by the time next week has passed it will be history in everyone's mind, including my own.

Hubband and Boy gave me my Mother's Day present early. Hubband is out tonight and I'll be gone all day tomorrow and most of Sunday, so he wanted to make sure I could appreciate the gift. It was a huge basket of girlie stuff: lotion, body oil, scrub, etc. a can of Fix-A-Flat (cause he's always got my safety in mind and he's just that wierd) and season one of "Gilmore Girls" on DVD. (I know. I think they went a little nuts, too.) Tomorrow, we're going to go to the farmer's market and get flowers that he will plant on Sunday while I'm taking Mom and Grandma out for dinner. We're getting up early to get a good selection and because I have a crop from 9am to 9pm tomorrow at a nearby church with some friends.

Truthfully, I feel behind in every aspect of my life and would much rather spend both days at home. Next week will be a lot of errands getting Boy ready to go to 6th grade camp the following week. And the weekend is already full.

Just thinking of it is making me tired. I need to go lie down.