It is so interesting to me how hormones effect my life. Before I got back on the pill, I had a very irregular ovulation cycle. I would get maybe three periods a year and have these horrible mood swings - which were probably PMS, but who could tell without the "M" to provide the clues? So I got on the pill to regulate and make peace with the woman in me. Now I can pretty much set my watch by it. (Except on months like last when I forget to take my pills for several days and things get all wonky.)
My normal pattern starts about a week before the actual event, where I start to feel like I'm a useless blob of flesh. Any sense of productivity flies out the window and begin to find reasons for unprecidented slack in my life. I get a few well placed zits. My digestive system starts holding meals hostage. By Tuesday of the next week, I hate myself but reflect it by letting little things irritate me. At some point I'm going to say or do something stupid that will make people look at me like I've gone over the edge. Because I have. I will only eat fat, sugar, and carbs. I sleep like the dead and need the alarm to wake up . Wednesday my skin and system smooth out. I feel like I've lost ten pounds over night. I start thinking makeup and jewelery really aren't that much trouble, after all. I feel bad for all the relationship mistakes I've made the day before and start making amends. Thursday my period starts and I'm back to my normal, only slightly irrational self.

Now, the reason I bring us to the land of TMI is this: Why, if I know this is my cycle and can see it in hindsight, do I not anticipate and protect myself from the "bad days"? Wouldn't it be worth the lost money to take every fourth Tuesday off? (Did I mention we have our team meetings that day? Can't seem to get out of one without an argument.) Wouldn't it be wise to plan some productivity so I can boost my self esteem? Wouldn't I know that the reason I'm reaching for another cupcake is because of my hormones and not because my parents didn't love me enough?

I think this is going to have to be one of the rules. A rule that I fill in the calendars and circle these "bad days" and find ways to make them good days. Because isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing and expecting different results?