C'mon Over Here And Bug Me

Wednesday, Apr. 13, 2005 15:10

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Yesterday was not my best day. It was cold and extremely windy, so I did not walk. Instead we brought in Wendy's for lunch. And I was doing well, in that I bought my usual sandwich but a salad instead of fries, except that when the food was all divided, I ended up with an extra fry. Apparently, I really wanted fries, so I ate them. And they were good. I was suffering from a two night sleep deficit, so I planned to do nothing but lay about my boudior when I got home. It was a successful plan. It was not all that restful, however, as Husband is preparing mixed tapes (yes, he is that old school) to take on our trip to Baltimore. I have only myself to blame, as I chose the music for these particular mixes, but why it needs to be so loud when he's recording it is beyond me. This is the same guy who won't let me watch ER or anything on MTV in bed because all the beeping keeps him awake.

Thank you. I'll now return to my nursing home as I am obviously really old.

I also found out that I tend to eat poorly when both fatigued and pissed off. (Cue the Chorus of Duh!) The fatigue leads to poor quality, because I just want to eat and be done with it. The pissed-off-edness leads to totally ignoring the 7:30 Rule.

But I'm doing better today. (See! Not dwelling; moving forward.) My coworker and I walked the route I did on Monday, about a mile and a half. My knees tend to scream at me afterword but I really do feel better. (Once the redface goes away and the sweating stops, anyway.) I'm not usually a big fan of the "Buddy System", partially because I can be talked out of things as easily as I can be talked into them, but I really feel supported this time.

One thing I was surprised about is the lack of any type of chocolate craving. What is up with that? Although, I'll bet if you check back with me next week, it'll be different. (Heh.)

I ran into a previous employer in the hallway. Not one of the ones that used their employees to play out their demonic rituals. One of the nice ones that said, "Here, take this pile of money and we'll trust you to know what you're doing." He's an adorable little Korean guy with the sweetest red-haired wife and bunch of cute children. He was pitching a contract with the Huge Automotive Conglomerate for which I work. Then he asked what I was doing and I found myself actually embarassed to tell him. I padded it with my usual, "But I don't have to carry a pager or cell phone." justification then found a tactful way to end the conversation and continue my way to the Ladies. Back at my desk, I found myself really missing the work for the first time. Not just missing the money because, hey, we know I've been missing the money - but missing the actual exchange of ideas between intelligent people. Missing the buzz of having to fix the emergency of the moment. Missing having my opinion count for something. (sigh)

Part of this is leftover angst from last week when we had a big meeting with our boss's boss's boss and her sidekick. He asked for input and mine spilleth over onto the table like a wave. I was feeling all jazzed and full of branstormy "what if" statements until I realized my coworkers were glaring at me. It seems the very idea that we do anything new without a huge pay increase had them frothing. And, yeah, who wouldn't want a little monetary recognition, but if it's not coming anyway, I wouldn't mind a little variety in my daily grind.

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