I'm Not The Only One With A Bug Up My Butt Today

Thursday, Jun. 02, 2005 11:51

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I'm totally cranky for no good reason. Seriously, you'd think with everything that's going well for me right now, I would be able to just sit back and enjoy it. But noooooooooo! I've got to put the crank on about something. Even if I don't know what it is.



One item that has me pissy is my upcoming work schedule. I asked to be limited to 15 hours per week, no more than three days. This weekend they have scheduled for 16 hours in two days, then have me working two nights next week and the following Saturday. I'm thinking it's because Inventory is coming up, but if they're doing it just because I'm not a flaky teenager, will show up to work on time, and will do whatever they ask, well, we're just going to have to nip that in the bud. I tend to miss my life a little bit.

This Saturday, I have to work 9am to 5:30pm and then head over to my SIL's to address invitations to the Family Reunion. Whoo-hoo!. I can honestly say that this is not going to be the most fun I'll be having all weekend, but I should help. It's my responsibility. (I just wish we could do it another time, when I'm not wrung out.)



Item two, I think I forgot to mention, is that the Big Boy proposed to the Girlfriend and they are officially engaged. I did not see the ring but Husband reports it as being "huge". All the relatives have been notified and want details. Husband had to email his X, since BB decided he didn't want to tell her himself. No amount of prodding would convince him that it would be better if she not hear it from someone else. Too bad. We thought things were going better in that arena, but this might be a setback for their relationship. Me? Oh, I'm fine with it. I wish she would come around more often so we could get to know her better, but at the same time I'm okay with her not... I'll do my best to make her feel part of the family. Luckily, BB insists that they're not planning on marrying for a couple of years. A big sigh of relief and an "atta boy" went his way. It's so important that he finish school. So very important. And it wouldn't surprise me to see them move far, far away the day after he graduates.



Item three - our party neighbor from across the street has moved to Nashivlle. He's renting the place to his girlfriend's daughter and her fiance'. They're nice kids, we've met them quite a few times, but we can't help thinking that the neighbor's already lax yard maintenance and party noise will be multiplied.



A friend was writing about feeling like a failure lately. I find it ironic, really, because he cites not having X, Y, and Z as his reasons for feeling that way and I have X, Y, and Z (and A, B, and C for that matter) and still find ways to feel like I've dropped the ball. I feel like I've failed my son because he's getting "below average" grades, even though his grades are very similar to mine at the same age - and according to a good friend, I'm not "mental lightweight". I feel like I've failed my family and friends because it's so difficult to make time for them these days. I feel like I've failed my husband because I'm not a financial wiz, and because I'm so tired at the end of the day, and because, because, because, because, because. Most of all, I feel like I'm constantly failing myself because I'm not putting any effort into my art, my education, my health.

A few nights after my dream about retail failure, I had a dream that I was fired from my day job. Actually, I think it was one of those, "Oh, Yeah! Well, you can't fire me. I QUIT!" kind of conversations. And I was then transferred to a job in food service. Once I saw what was to become of me (white polyester uniform, complete with hair net) I desperately tried to get my old job back. The sense of panic is still palpable. When I told my boss the story she laughed and made a comment like I wouldn't be lucky enough for her to fire me and there was no way I was getting out of this job. But I still feel bad. Mostly because I know I'm not giving my all to this work any more.



Did anyone see that Eagles' special last night? What kind of deal with Beelzebub did these guys make that none of them are fat and they can all sing just as wonderfully as they ever could?



I'm back to work now. Thanks for listening.

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