I am not sure what is going on with me today, but I hope whatever it is goes away by morning. I woke up feeling tired and in the general area of blech, then progressed into a mood that swings between the verge of violence and the verge of tears. If this were happening at the same time last week, I'd understand - I wouldn't like it, but I'd understand. This week I should be my normal "cheerful" self. I don't understand it and it seemed like whatever I was feeling, my Team Leader was feeling it, too. Just the littlest thing - to my logical mind, anyway - seemed to put us at odds. It only compounds the problem to look back on it and find myself wondering what the hell I was so pissed about to begin with.

The feeling physically crappy, I can't explain. I had a good amount of sleep last night and, while I haven't been exactly loading up on veggies this past week, I've been eating better than I have in years.

The mental anguish I think might be my screwed up way of saying, "Hey! It's time for a new job!" I've been thinking I've been at this job about a year longer than I'd planned and it's about time to scurry to something new, but the opportunities are just not there. The "boss" was discussing a friend who works at a major area employer as she had over a thousand applicants for a single job, some of them out of work for over a year. I explained to her that these are people who are not willing to settle. Which led to the realization that I am a person who, apparently, is willing to settle. And I keep getting older and not doing anything about it.

I guess, then, that this weekend will be devoted to revamping my resume. I'm going to make some changes in format and carve some things out and spice some things up and see if we can make the old girl fly. Then I'm going to look into a couple of other avenues, like a student loan to finish school and maybe start working on some future projects.

I need to do something, because just sitting here feeling rudderless is making me want something chocolate in the worst way.