I have had a twitch under my left eye for about a week now. I'm not sure, but I think it started right after the blinding and sudden migraine I had on Tuesday. I was sitting at my desk, right after lunch, and suddenly couldn't see all of the screen. It was as if I has spent time staring into the sun and then tried to read the words in front of me. The "sunspot" got bigger and as it expanded, I started getting the most awful headache I've ever experienced. I was literally thinking about throwing up and how it might make me feel better. If you know me well, you know I don't do that. I last threw up in March of 1992 and don't really plan to ever do it again. Luckily for my plan, the Exc3drine I took started to kick in and it took the edge off enough that I could finish the work I'd started. (And I was well enough to find humor in the fact that one of my hypochondriac cubemates started experiencing similar symptoms. You don't say?)

I, and several of those near and dear to me, have been wondering if my blood pressure became suddenly out of whack. I also wonder if my thyroid is similarly goofy, due to the weight loss. While it's not like I've dropped a dramatic amount of poundage, it has been a steady decline and perhaps my meds need to be adjusted? (Or flushed down the toilet?) I don't think it has anything to do with my blood sugar, as I was eating well at about two hour intervals that day, but that would be ironic. I decide to lose weight so I won't end up in a diabetic coma some day and it louses up my sugar in the process. Ha, ha, ha.

Or it could just be that migraines run in my family (thanks, Dad) and the onset of menopause is kicking them into gear.

It could also be an isolated incident that I'm thinking about far too much.

I'm doing well on the weight loss front. Slow and steady wins the race. I'm a little worried, because I'm starting to get to that point where I "forget" to write things down and "guess" at point values. After finding that a lack of ice cream induces psychosis after a few weeks, I'm slowling allowing "real" foods to creep into my diet. But in order to do so, I need to be keeping track or I'll find myself up to my elbows in a pan of pizza rolls before I can blink. I'm also trying not to put too much emphasis on the numbers from the scale. Getting all bent because I lost .8 pounds this week instead of the 2 pounds I lost last week will not help me. It is better to focus on how I feel and how my clothes are seriously big and how I can see my collar bone. It's also doing me good to think about this is all within my control and my control alone.

Then maybe I can apply that type of thinking to the other parts of my life.

For instance, I currently have about eleventy half-finished craft projects clogging up my craft room. I need to work on my follow through in this area. My little monthly art group is moving toward a profit making type of system, having had their first show/sale last weekend. My schedule problems at job 2 and the price of gasoline have kept me from attending meetings and participating in this venture, but I think I want to reaffirm my committment to this group and look into the possibility of finding a niche for myself. God knows, that new TV schedule holds nothing compelling for me, so I might as well use that time for good instead of evil.

Follow through has always been a problem for me. I conveniently blame my father and his lack of committment skills. It is time, however, to move past my slightly damaged childhood and get on board with being a capital "A" adult. I tend to spend a disproportionate amount of time lying around thinking about all the wonderful productive things I could be doing instead of actually doing them. It's not good for me and it's not a good example for my son, which is something I plan to keep in mind on more than one topic.