Bite, Bite, Bite...

Friday, Jan. 06, 2006 15:27

Guestbook - Notes - Yesterday - Author - Contact

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It's difficult not to believe in a Higher Power of some kind when the it is constantly in your face trying to teach you lessons. Yesterday was my two-year anniversary at this "temporary" job. I received my review, and it was the best one I've probably ever had. Damned near close to perfect. In fact I even got the highest score on the "Interpersonal Skills" section and that has never happened before. Growing up? I was talking with a coworker about how much I enjoy working here. It is quite boring at times and I hate not getting holiday/sick pay for all the days we have to take off, but for the most part it's a good job. I can honestly say that the team we have here works well together and I truly like each and every person on the team. There's no pressure to be on time every day and if I ever need any time off for something personal it's not a problem. I love the hours and it's close to home.

Because of all of this - and the fact that we've got a few windfalls coming our way this quarter - the Husband and I discussed whether or not it would be a good idea for me to go back to school, even if it means getting a student loan. He had the genious idea to wait six months and re-evaluate our financial situation. We also decided that we would put any job searches on hold until then since the market sucks and the situation I'm in now works so well every which way but financially.

Today, CWF calls with news that her boss wishes to contact me this afternoon about a job. A job that is father away, more stressful, includes on-call time and has no security since the company is in dire, dire straits. It also pays double what I'm currently making and I would be working with CWF who is my biggest fan. (Even though I think we've grown closer now that we don't see quite so much of each other's moods.)

If I were to be offered the job, the answer would be simple. I could not turn down the opportunity to put right our financial wrongs of the past couple of years. It is my fault we're in this predicament and I should be big enough to step up should the opportunity present itself for it to be fixed. I would also love to be able to things we used to do like travel. Especially when it comes to the Big Boy. (I've always felt horrible that we couldn't provide him with more of a wedding gift.) We could get the new carpet/sofa/drapes/sink/whatever we need. We could take the car to a good mechanic and find out what is causing it to idle so roughly when it's cold. We could help my family and better prepare ourselves for our future so that we won't need any help ourselves. I could rejoin my beloved gym.

So why have I been sitting here near tears for the last two hours thinking about the prospect of getting a job I haven't even been offered?

2 comments so far

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