Where have I been ? Where indeed. I've been up and down and frustrated and sad and happy and...well, you get it. I'd get a post composed in my head and then the pendulum would swing and I'd be thinking/feeling completely different. Let's see if I can sum it up...

Still feeling sad over the loss of my friend and missing her funeral. (But thanks to the wonder of the Internet, I was able to track down her sister and send a note.)

Nana had what we thought was pnemonia, which kept her out of work for a week, but after two series of rather aggressive antibiotics and two series of aggressive steroids, she is feeling no better. She is still running a very high fever some days and has no energy. This being the third week of this, she is going in tomorrow for a CAT scan to see if they can pinpoint the problem. (Don't even google "persistent fever". It brings up all manner of horrors that I am not ready to discuss. La la La, I can't hear you.)

A rather unsuccessful shopping venture with CWF made me seriously cranky and threw me off course with regard to food. (I should say I allowed it to let me fall off course, but whatever. More on this issue later.)

I broke through my plateau and managed to get my 10 percent goal (finally) which loots me a lovely (cheapass) keychain. But still, progress is progress.

I haven't been to the gym all week, but I have been enjoying the nice weather and doing a lot of walking. Spring is definately here and that lifts my spirits considerably.

The disgusting mess I ate for lunch has made me sick and if I'm going to feel this bad I'd like to be over something that tasted better than that crap. (Which will teach me not to cave into peer pressure.)

My son is a sexual being. I was trying to avoid this reality. We won't go into it, but let me just say that I think there are going to be many moments in my future where I run screaming down the hall with my fingers in my ears to avoid some of the things I'm about to learn. I just thank God I'm not a single parent and I can say, "You need to talk to your Father/Son about..."

Work is this massive ball of tension because A) I've been scouted by another contract company to do the same job but at a slightly higher wage with better (any) benefits. Possibly. But there's this whole non-compete thing and, B) Black Tuesday; the sky is falling; the sky is falling.

I put myself on craft restriction and may buy no more craft supplies until I finish some of the projects I already have going. So I finished one this week. I made my first quilt. A lovely baby quilt/changing pad thing. It's a little on the small side, but it turned out nice. I had to hurry it up because the woman it is for is going to pop any minute.

Grandma's birthday, Nana's birthday, Easter, Husband's birthday...I'm just bleeding money, thanks.

Anyway...that's the gist of what's been going on with me.

Except let me give you this to ponder from the wise Lloyd Dobler: "How hard is it to just decide to be in a good mood?"

I am so tired of everyone around me being so @#$% miserable all the time. Believe it or not, I have problems, too. They might not be as big as yours but they matter to me and I try really hard not to bring them to work or hold you captive in the car and make you hear about them for the billionth time. Especially if you're not willing to do anything to fix the damned problem.

Also, and this is insensitive to the utmost, but after three years of hearing about it, I no longer give a shit, if you wait until you're forty-something to get married and wait until you're married to have a baby, then you're going to have some problems. And if four years and thousands of dollars later, you still haven't decided if you even want children, maybe it's time to look at your life a little differently. Perhaps we should hand that particular problem over to our higher power and work on one of the other eleventy things that are making your life so much more awful than everyone elses.

I told you it was insensitive, but it has to be said.