Trying, trying, trying to get into a good frame of mind here.

Another of my favorite coworkers jumped ship. Our project mgr gave his notice. Dammitt. That and I feel so stupid and defensive, not knowing anything about what's going on with this stupid project.

This weekend is going to be all about me getting myself better. Working it out. Making the plan. I cannot go on beating myself up over things that have little to do with my own behavior. I've created this horrible pattern of eating poorly and drinking too much caffiene, which in turn keeps me up too late at night, which in turn allows me to oversleep in the morning, resulting in even fewer hours to each day. And I am back to my couch potato, sluggish ways which I know has Hubband just shaking his head. (Although, seriously, he has his own issues and keep the hell away from mine.)

I really don't like me when I'm like this. I don't like me when I'm complaining all the time. I don't like me out of control. I like me when I'm productive and creative and happy and loving.

Unfortunately, right now I feel like I'm hitting each area of my life at about 50% and not quite making do with any of it.

It could be worse, though. I could be living somewhere that makes me afraid to let my children out the door. That would be bad.