This morning, as I was grazing myself awake, I happened upon one of my favorite episodes of Martha Stewart Living. In this one she is explaining how to organize your linen closet by attaching brass label frames to the shelf and inserting little printed labels that read "Queen Flat" and "Seasonal Blankets" and such.

It's almost as fun as the one where she spends almost the entire half hour making a bed.

Seriously, whoever shares her cell in prison is going to be one lucky beyotch.

I have a screaming sinus headache. It started on the right side and has moved to the left side of my head. I've gone to hell in a handbasket since quitting my semi-weekly workouts.

Hubband and I agree that the time has come to quit the gym and save the put the $50 toward something more appropriate. [You know, since I haven't gone since June, for cryin' out loud.] There is actually another gym right down the street from the new house. Within walking distance, even. So I might see how it goes and join up there. Right now, I think packing and moving is all the exercise I'm going to plan on doing.

Hubband and I also sort of agreed that when we move might be a good time to take a break from school. We'll have to see how it goes. I can take up to 28 days off without damaging my full time status, and I think school and work and moving might just be too much. On the other hand, I've enjoyed these two weeks off just a little too much and I think it might be a problem going back if I took much more time off. Perhaps I'll just use my one class absense that week.

I guess we should wait to decide until we've actually got a move-in date. Or at least applied for the loan.

I am dealing with some issues regarding the new house that I'm not comfortable with. One is other people's envy. In our excitement, we tend to go on about the house [No, Caribou, really?] and that may come off as bragging when it is not meant to. We're just happy and excited and as incredulous about our ability to make this move as other people seem to be. But some people, my mother instantly springs to mind, seem to resent our ability to take this step.

Part of the problem, you see, is that living so close to Mom has brought about a certain caretaking role in my husband. He mows her lawn, shovels her driveway, etc. We're always here to feed the cat and lift something heavy. We keep tabs on each other without invading each other's privacy (which is harder than you might think). On the flip side we share the garbage service we've arranged with her and let her hang out in our house (bigger, newer, warmer/cooler, and with cable) when we're out of town. [This, btw, is something she just decided to do. We asked her to feed the fish once and she just never went home.] All in all, there are many benefits for both of us living so close.

However, for the last year or two Nana's been working the late shift as well as a second job. This makes it impossible for her to babysit (which she used to do often) and also makes it difficult to tell if she's been caught in a 12-car pile up on 75 or if she's just picking up a few extra hours at her second job. We thought living near her would make us worry less, when in fact it sometimes makes us worry more.

I've made it clear that one of the benefits of the new house is there is room for Nana to come live with us if the situation requires such an arrangement. I'm not abandoning her. And we're still just a short hike away from each other. We've picked out the corner on which we'll meet for our evening walks already. It'll be fine.

I think more of her resentment comes from envy instead of the feeling of abandonment. She sees me being able to do things she cannot. Being able to afford a better style of living than the one she's been allowed. In my heart, I feel some guilt over this [and when others express the same type of sentiment] but in my mind I know that it all comes down to one thing: it's the choices we make. There was a time when she and I were working at the same company, making about the same amount of money. But from there I made other choices. I chose to move on while she chose to stay. I chose a man who would love me and support me while she chose a string of deviants based on some hidden criteria only she's privy to. [I believe I've mentioned before that I think my mother sees some sort of blinking neon 'L' on the foreheads of men and uses that as a sign to become involved.] I chose to spend my money a little more wisely and improve the house I have while she let hers fall down around her ears.

Jeez. How did I get into this?

Anyway, I guess I'll just have to put up with it for a while. At least until she realizes we're not abandoning her or trying to rub her nose in our "wealth".

The rest will just have to deal!