I have been in the weirdest mood today. It's almost as if I've forced myself to be depressed. It was a beautiful, sunny, warm day. I had a nice - if abbreviated - workout. I had lunch with my friend and we talked about kids and husbands, as we are want to do when we are alone together, because we both have some of each. It was nice and we laughed a lot.

Then I went shopping. I shopped until I spent nearly every dime in my purse. It felt good while I was doing it but now I've got a bag full expensive crap that I didn't really need. (Not that I won't use it or didn't want it, I just didn't NEED it.)

I just don't understand it. Things are going well. The job is going well. My attitude toward life in general has been great lately. The husband and I are happy. We argue a bit, but that just makes things spicy.

Maybe it's real PMS instead of the phantom PMS of last week. Maybe it's the 5 pounds I haven't lost from Christmas, even though I've gone a whole week without Coke. Maybe it's the realization that Big Boy has grown up and doesn't need us or even care to be around us much and someday the same thing will happen to Little Boy. I'll be all out of kids, then, just like I'm all out of babies, now. I'm not sure I can take that. It might break my heart.

I think I'm just plain tired.