I am done with the Christmas prep-work. There is minor food shopping to be done, but the presents are all bought and wrapped and the card thing is done and I am blissfully relaxed.

I'm not sure what triggered it, but I feel like I'm finding my center again. Yesterday I didn't feel compelled to eat anything that wasn't nailed down. I worked (although I was a little bit of a bitchy crank) and enjoyed the day. I shopped afterward for my co-worker gifts and found a decent deal on exactly the type of thing for which I was hunting. I came home, put together some nice little packages with said gifts and chocolates and a cookie. Then I organized my "important papers" stash and paid bills. I was so damned productive I forgot to eat dinner until late when we were watching "White Christmas". Then I had a few bites, read a couple of chapters of "Great Expectations" and went to bed.

Sometime in the night, the battery on the pager became weak enough to start emitting that annoying little "dead battery" beep. When I finally recognized it for what it was it was 5:45, so I just got up.

And I discovered I like having this time to write so maybe that will encourage me to do that more often? One would hope so.

A couple of things happened yesterday that may be leading to my new sense of self.

First, I made a decision to ask for my full-time status back. I've grown rather tired of being the department lacky and rather fond of money these last few months. It seems like time. I wasn't really using my days off as productivly as I had planned and I enjoyed the vacation enough to want both the time off and the income to afford another. (And a cable modem and digital cable and pretty things...)

Second, I had lunch with a friend yesterday. She being the one I've been so envious of, lately. She is having troubles in her personal life and decided to put aside her severe diet until sometime when there is a little less stress. And suddenly I found myself ordering salad. And not making trips to the store. And not overloading myself on several sugary sodas. (Okay, I had some - let's not make it seem like I was suddenly following the rules, now.)

It makes me feel slightly crappy that her decision - based on a trauma she is going through which requires my support - should trigger this effect in me. It's not intentional or even something I was thinking of in the front of my brain.

To be truthful, I always get this way around this time of year. It's in preparation for the whole New Year's resolution thing. When I quit smoking (yeah, I know, whatever. Do you want to hear this story or not?) it was on December 20th. When I decided to make the change last year, I started putting together the plan around the holidays.

Don't ask me to explain the inner workings of this noggin. It's far too complex.

One thing I started to do is try to organize my time a little. I found myself starting to watch way too much TV again. So I wrote a list of the programs I really like and found that it's only about six hours of shows a week. Since I will soon be caught up to the present "Buffy" (Mom's dead, Dawn's the key, the Buffy Bot has come and gone - we're just waiting for Buffy her self to bite it) I can stop spending that time in front of the tube. Now I can spend the extra time reading.

Oooh! I've taken all of your suggestions, put them in a spreadsheet, highlighted the ones that several people had on their lists and noted which ones I've already read. So I'm set for the winter reading.

If/when I do go back full time, I'll have to work out a gym plan around that schedule, but I think it will be easier than before. There are more of us and we are more able to leave on time that we were before.

And speaking of leaving on time. I have a shower to take before I can take Little Boy to school and deliver the wonderous Christmas presents. Must dash.

(Psst! It snowed last night. Just the lightest silvery white dusting that will be blown away before I get home tonight. But they are predicting a storm coming in on Christmas Eve. Wouldn't that be wonderful?)