I found it! I finally found the right nail polish.

I did check out the internet and found a couple of good sites (thanks to those who sent me info!) at much better prices, but that wouldn't help the chipped mess on my nails at the time. One of the sites had a "where to shop". Although it seemed to not have been updated much, it did show two stores near me that sell O.P.I. nail products. Then yesterday I was out shoe shopping with the Nana (punishment for all the years we spent trying to find cool shoes to fit my huge feet) and I went into the discount beauty store at the Crossing. They carried the brand but she called to find out and my color has been...sniff...DISCONTINUED!

Don't they understand how difficult it is for a woman to find the perfect shade of red? It is not easy. They can be too orange, too pink, too brown. I, personally, look best in shades with a more bluish cast to them. I was truly saddened. So I bought a color called "Mat-Adore Red" which looked like a good enough match.

But it wasn't. I came home and opened my nail kit and found that I already had two shades of red that were similar and this particular color turned out to be too orange for my liking. But what's a girl to do?

Today, I went to Marshall Fields expressly to purchase a pair of black capri pants with beaded fringe off the bottom that were featured in this week's ad. Turned out they didn't have them in stock at our store. Dammit. I hate that. Instead, I purchased a new mascara and some overpriced handcream at the Estee' Lauder counter (in order to get the "free" gift). Then I thought I would check out their nail salon, since it was one of the places listed.

Jackpot! "Chick Flick Cherry!"

So now my fingernails are as beautiful as my toenails.

It is good to be color coordinated.

It has been a nice weekend. The weather has been beautiful and springlike since yesterday morning. I've spent a good lot of time with my family. There are only four more days left in February (month that I hate).

Say, "Ahhhhhh....." with me now.

Yesterday I spent the morning shopping with the Nana, then she watched Little Boy while Hubband and I went to see "Gosford Park" (LOVED IT!). Then we came home and Big Boy came to spend the night for the first time in a while.

I've been thinking about our relationship. It's so odd.

I've had two stepmothers. The first one I hated with a passion so firey it burned my soul. I'm sure they're reserving a special place in Hell for her. The second one, my current Stepmonster, is sweet and loves my dad and it looks as though they might be married forever. I love her because of this. Because she's finally made him happy, I guess. But we're not what you would call close. We don't share many of the same values (other than murder is bad and mean people suck) and we don't have much in common so there's not much depth to our conversations. I've often wondered if we'll still be part of one another's lives when my father dies.

This thought doesn't bother me so much, but makes me sad when I think that Big Boy might have the same thoughts about me. Granted, I've known Big Boy since he was in diapers and I've been involved with his dad since he was six while I didn't meet my current Stepmonster until I was 24. And Hubband doesn't collect wedding rings the way my dad does either. I just worry about where I stand in his life.

Sometimes, I step back and look at our relationship and I feel like he's almost closer to me than to his parents. He will often turn to me for advice when his dad is standing right there. It could be that the gap between our ages is not as wide. I may be twenty years older than he, but we're interested in a lot more of the same things. I think it's more likely that I'm not constantly GIVING him advice. I don't feel like it's my place. Hubband and I will have intense discussion, but I feel like all my opinions regarding his rearing must be filtered through Hubband or forgotten.

Hubband often says he's glad for my perspective, him not having the advantage of viewing a divorce from the inside. I've been able to tell him when he should use tough love and when he should let something go from experience. It's also given me a lot of perspective on my parents divorce from the other side as well. It's allowed me to forgive the little things (and some of the bigger ones) and made me a better parent to my own son.

The part that scares me, though, is that I still think of it in terms of being an outsider. I've been very angry with Big Boy lately because of his treatment of his father. I'm defensive and even unreasonable about it at times. He's hurting my man and I don't like it. Don't like it one bit. No matter what the Hubband says about not wanting to push him.

But when he was here last night I enjoyed it so much. I've said before that these are my favorite moments, sitting at home surrounded by the men in my life and enjoying the feeling of being warm and safe and loved. Hubband had rented horrible movies that we got to make fun of. "Planet of the Apes" gave us a new psuedonym for sex - "It's time to launch the monkey!" - and it's comforting to see this boy/man enjoying a laugh with people he knows will still be there in the morning.

Maybe, just maybe, he asks me for advice because he knows I won't lie to him. Maybe he just trusts me.

I hope so.