I felt it coming on last night. The desire to do nothing but burrow into the sofa and eat anything not nailed down. The inability to stop myself from doing things I know will be damaging. The greasy, sweatiness of hormonal overflow.

That's right folks. She's got PMS.

I've got to go to work today and I don't really want to. Boss Man still hasn't gotten around to finalizing the full-time thing and I've gotten tired of asking him. If my computer turns out to be still screwed, I may just ask him to let me go home and come back tomorrow.

Grrrrr!

I keep hoping these lines will change the depressing direction of my thoughts. Is it working?

Lunch with Hubband's Sister went well. I was a wee late picking her up. I got caught up in a line for the showers at the gym and then realized I had not brought anything on which to write the addresses she would give me. This required a stop at the store to pick up a notebook. We had a nice lite lunch at "Mr. B's" and discussed whom I should and shouldn't invite to Big Boy's party. We talked about food and tent rentals and what the weather may be like.

She surprised me by agreeing with our tentative plans to keep Little Boy in 4th grade next year. She opened up a little about her parents and the fear she has that she's not doing the right thing with the money they've left her.

It was nice. And mercifully short.

Then I went back and forth in my head about driving out to Milford and checking out their stamping store. Finally, I decided to go (see paragraph one) but couldn't find it. I came back and perused a few stores, ending up at Office Max, buying a few things I "needed".

And now I feel horribly guilty.

I've got to get back on a budget. It's fear. Fear of being broke actually makes me want to spend money. It's the whole "I'm running out of gas so I'll drive faster" logic. Don't ask me to explain. I'm just a complicated girl. (We've discussed this before.)

What I need to do is get into my "Goddess of All Things Financial" mode. The one in which I practice and encourage "making do" while paying off all the credit cards and building emergency savings.

I keep waiting for that mode to begin.

Anytime now.

As it is, we have a week until Hubband's payday and a negative balance in the checking. (Not really, but on paper we do.)

Ugh! Enough of this depressing *&%$.

Tonight is the teacher's conference where we get LB's report card and talk about what a delight he is, how brilliant he is, and how he just doesn't want to put in the effort it takes to read and write.

Then we're going to dinner at the "Outback Steakhouse" because we have gift certificates from Christmas. For some stupid reason they don't open until 4pm so we're hard pressed to use them. We decided that we would use them tonight and stand in line for an hour to get an awesome blossom and some steak.

Whatever.

Big Boy may meet us there after his ski meet, but I'm not holding my breath. He hasn't been around much lately. I can't remember when the last time was that we actually saw him, come to think of it. I feel sorry for him that his life is so complex at 18. On the other hand, I feel like a wicked stepmonster because I don't feel like we need to keep a room here just for him if he's not going use it. I want to move LB down there (out of earshot of our room) and turn his room into a craft room/reading room/closet.

Hubband's not going for it.

Anywho, I should get going. Lots to do today. I will see you all anon.